


Crowfeather's Nine Lives

by Masquerain



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe, Mild Hurt/Comfort, minor leaf/crow and feather/crow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 16:07:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7059745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masquerain/pseuds/Masquerain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU set roughly a year after The Last Hope. After Ashfoot died in the battle against the Dark Forest, Onestar appointed Crowfeather deputy of Windclan. Now that Onestar has lost his last life, Crowfeather must receive his nine lives from Starclan. <br/>(A/N in this AU Tawnypelt died sometime over the course of events between The Last Hope and now.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crowfeather's Nine Lives

Moonlight illuminated the rippling pool in front of Crowfeather. The stars of Silverpelt blanketed the sky above him, and a chilling wind swept across the hollow, causing the tom’s fur to prickle. Leaf-bare had hit Windclan harder than usual, bringing with it sickness and scarcity eventually leading to the death of Windclan’s leader, Onestar. Anxiety stabbed at the dark gray warrior like a thicket of brambles. He had known that Onestar was on his last life when he contracted a cough from one of the kits. And it wasn’t long before the seemingly harmless cough became serious. He had known from that moment that Starclan was going to take him soon, and he would have to be ready to take over for the old tom. Standing at the foot of the pool, Crowfeather stared down at his reflection in the icy water. A sudden memory pierced his thoughts.

_ “I’ve been scared too,” Crowfeather admitted. “I don’t want to leave my clan or my friends. I even hoped I might be leader one day. But more than that, I don’t want to lose you, Leafpool. And there’s no way for us to be together if we stay here.” _

It had been many moons since he had tried to leave his clan with the Thunderclan medicine cat. Memories of their love still echoed in his mind, and he learned long ago that it would be impossible to escape them. Back then, he thought his clanmates would never accept him after he left, but now Crowfeather knew that his clanmates no longer judged him for the decisions he made when the clans first came to the lake. He also knew that he had proved his loyalty to his clan thousands of times over since then. They accepted him as their leader now. This thought gave him the confidence to step toward the small, starlit pool.

He cautiously touched his nose to the sparkling water, but quickly recoiled. The freezing liquid stung. He let out a snort of discomfort and sent an irritated glance at Kestrelflight.

“Go on,” instructed Windclan’s medicine cat, gesturing at the pool with his tail. Crowfeather reluctantly did as he was told, and delicately dipped his muzzle into the water again, allowing its icy grasp to take hold of him. Kestrelflight had already curled up next to him, and Crowfeather knew he was to do the same. He settled down on the hard stone and drifted off to sleep. 

When he opened his eyes, countless Starclan warriors lined the hollow that held the Moon Pool. He had never imagined that there would be this many cats there with him. The only time he had been visited by Starclan was when he had been chosen to go on the journey to the sun-drown place, and only one cat had spoken to him then. The silence that filled the clearing before was gone and ceaseless whispers now echoed all around him. 

It was no wonder that Leafpool had wanted to come back. Being able to share a bond with these cats was an incredible privilege, and he felt a sharp pang of envy for the medicine cat. She held such such a strong connection with these cats. One that he knew he would never have. He forced himself to ignore this, and looked next to him to see the Windclan medicine cat. Kestrelflight gave him a nod of encouragement, and Crowfeather dipped his head gratefully to the mottled gray tom. He then cast his gaze upon the row of cats that stood in front of him, and felt his body tense up. A long-tailed black and white tom was the first to step forward. 

“Welcome,  Crowfeather,” greeted the tom, resting the tip of his tail on the dark-furred warrior’s shoulder. Upon the touch, he could feel his muscles begin to relax, and his nerves being calmed.

“Tallstar, ” Crowfeather dipped his head respectfully. He ran his eyes across the leader’s flank observing that it no longer showed any signs of aging. The only thing that gave away his true age was the wisdom in his gaze.

“Are you ready to receive your nine lives?” Tallstar asked. Crowfeather nodded, although he wasn’t sure he would ever be ready. He hadn’t let go of Onestar’s death and was plagued with grief whenever it crossed his mind. But it wasn’t just sadness he felt, it was also the doubt. How would he ever be able to live up to Onestar’s legacy?   

“Have more faith in yourself, Crowfeather. You were an excellent warrior as well as deputy. You served your clan well,” Tallstar praised. It was as if he could read the dark gray warrior’s mind, and was purposely trying to ease his nerves. “I give you a life of loyalty. As a leader your duty will always be to your clan before all else. Your heart must always belong to your clan, Crowfeather. Keep that in mind when you have you are faced with tough decisions.” 

When the former Windclan leader bent down and touched his muzzle to Crowfeather’s head, pain raked his insides like the claws of a badger. The tom let out a sharp hiss in surprise. He had not expected the life to be so forceful, and shot Kestrelflight an agonized glance. The mottled gray tom gave him a sympathetic look and shook his head. 

“It will all be over soon.”

Deadfoot limped forward to take Tallstar’s place in front of the Windclan warrior. Although the former Windclan deputy had a twisted paw, he had worked hard to become strong and agile. 

“I always said you’d make a fine leader one day. It was one of the reasons I chose you to go on the journey to the sun-drown place even though you were only an apprentice. I knew you had the skill and courage of any older Windclan warrior,” Deadfoot praised. The black tom’s amber eyes glittered with pride as well as something else, but he couldn't tell what. Crowfeather had seen it there before, but could never figure it out. 

“Thank you, Deadfoot, it means a lot,” The dark gray tom meowed in a low voice. “Life would have been so different if I hadn’t gone on the journey.” 

“With this life, I give you determination. Be prepared to face many hardships. Perseverance and motivation are key to getting through them. Don’t be discouraged when something doesn’t go the way you plan. Clear your mind and try again because if you have hope, then your clan will have hope too. Use it wisely.” 

The black warrior touched his muzzle to Crowfeather’s head. He felt as if he were back at the Windclan camp again. A harsh wind quickly swept across the clearing, knocking him off his paws. He tried to steady himself, but only felt another frosty breath of air push him off his paws. He felt the raw chill that leaf-bare brought, and he knew that that was only one of the hardships he would face as a leader. Shutting his eyes tightly, he waited for the merciless winds to stop.

The flick of a tail against his shoulder woke him from his vision, and Crowfeather opened his eyes to find himself face-to-face with a fluffy black she-cat. Upon recognition, a wave of guilt flooded over him. Standing before him was Hollyleaf, his Thunderclan-born daughter.

“Hollyleaf, I… I’m sorry,” the Windclan warrior choked out. He stared at the ground, unable to look his daughter in the eyes. He had never been able to apologize to her before she had lost her life in the battle against the Dark Forest. Crowfeather still hadn’t forgiven himself for the confusion and pain he put her through. 

“It’s all right, Crowfeather. I forgive you. I've been at peace with it for a long time now,” Hollyleaf reassured him, understanding coated her gentle words. She pressed her muzzle to the dark gray cat’s shoulder. “I only wish I could’ve gotten to know you better.” 

“I don’t deserve this life from you. I was a horrible father to you and your brothers,” The Windclan tom protested. How could she forgive him so easily when he’d wronged them so much? How could she forgive him when he hadn't forgiven himself?

“Of course you do. I know you never meant any of the things you said to me. You were only trying to be loyal to your clan," Hollyleaf replied, shaking her head. " Which is why the life I’m giving you is for admitting your faults. One of the hardest skills a warrior has to learn is that no cat will ever be perfect. Starclan will never expect you to make the right decision every time. Accept when you make a mistake, learn from it, and move on. Don’t let the past hold you back from your future.” 

The former Thunderclan warrior touched her nose to his, and he had little time to brace himself for the pain that ensued. Suddenly he was surrounding by angry, swirling water. It tugged and pulled at his fur, trying to drag him under its dark blue surface. He felt trapped; unable to do anything but allow the water to smother him until he drowned. In a heartbeat, he was back with the cats of Starclan. Crowfeather gasped for air, and felt relief only once he felt it fill his lungs. Steadying himself, the dark-gray tom watched his daughter recede into the line of cats.

The small, light brown cat that stepped forward next caused a pang of grief to echo through Crowfeather's body. 

“Onestar,” Crowfeather meowed in a gruff voice, edged with grief. “It’s been hard without you.” 

“Tell my clan to stop grieving for me. They have you now,” the former Windclan leader replied. “I don’t regret choosing you as my successor.  You are a worthy cat, Crowfeather, and I know you’ll lead your clan to greatness. That’s why I couldn’t be happier to give you this life for always believing in what you say even when others may not. There will always be those that don’t agree with your choices and opinions. Trust in your word, because your word is law,” Onestar meowed wisely. The former Windclan leader’s brown and white muzzle rested on Crowfeather’s head. The familiar touch eased his mourning heart, and sent a rush of power flowing through his veins. It rejuvenated the dark gray tom, giving life to his weakened body. 

“Thank you, Onestar. For everything you taught me,” The dark gray tom murmured. 

A soft, gray she-cat trotted up to the Windclan warrior as Onestar joined the ranks of the other Starclan warriors. 

“Greetings, young warrior. My name is Heatherstar. When I was leader of Windclan, long before you were born, I received a message from Starclan that I would have a warrior who would run away from the clan, but would eventually know where their loyalty truly lies,” she explained, swiftly looking behind her to share a brief look with Tallstar. “I was skeptical at first, but it wasn't long before their word became true. When the warrior returned, I knew that their loyalty belonged to Windclan. Even though your loyalty has wavered, you have proven to your clan that your heart truly belongs to Windclan. Use the life I give you for careful judgement. There will be many tough decisions ahead of you. As their leader, your clanmates put trust in you to make these decisions. Do not forget that.”

The gray-furred cat bent down and touched her muzzle to his head. The memories of the hard stares and distrust in his clanmates eyes when he first returned to the clans raced through his mind. He felt himself back there again, always having to prove his loyalty with each action. The lithe gray tom cringed, and the feeling of loneliness gnawed away at his belly. He blinked several times trying to get the images of the past out of his head. 

When he looked up,  he saw familiar tortoise-shell stepping lightly towards him. A reminiscent gaze filled his dark blue eyes. “Tawnypelt,” the dark gray warrior purred. “I’ve missed you so much.” It had always been hard to let go of the cats who had gone with him on the great journey. Especially once they left to join Starclan. Memories of the close bond he had once shared with other five cats came flooding back. 

A playful gleam hung in Tawnypelt’s amber gaze. A light hearted growl rose in the back of Crowfeather’s throat as she cuffed him around the ear. 

“It was my time to go. You know that,” she mewed wistfully. “It’s really hard to believe that you were once the grumpy little Windclan apprentice that journeyed with me to the sun-drown place. You’ve grown up, Crowfeather. We all have.” The deep friendship the two once shared reflected in her eyes, and Crowfeather knew the cats that found the clans new home would always remember the bond they once shared. 

Resting her multi-colored muzzle on his head, she declared, “Use this life to always try and find the light within the dark. It’s so easy to see the bad in things, that we often forget to look for the good. Keep searching for that light at the end of the tunnel. Staying positive yourself is the only way you can convince your clan to do the same.”

Crowfeather felt an immense boost of energy and he found himself racing through a tunnel. He could barely make out a thin sliver of light at the end of it. He found himself running harder, moving faster desperately trying to reach. He forcefully hurtled himself at the light breaking through the thick layer of dirt that lined the top of the tunnel. He blinked his eyes open and he was left staring straight into the clear blue eyes of a light gray she-cat. This really was the light at the end of the tunnel.

Ashfoot,” The dark-furred warrior breathed, as if he could hardly believe that it was really her standing in front of him. His mother had been the deputy before him, and had lost her life in the battle against the Dark Forest. It had been a bittersweet moment when Onestar appointed him deputy later that day. 

“I’ve missed you so much, dear one, and I want you to know that you couldn’t have made me prouder. You have proved yourself to your clanmates many times over. Windclan will be lucky to have you as their leader. Onestar couldn’t have chosen a more worthy successor. I will always watch over you, my son. Never forget that,” mewed Ashfoot lovingly. The light gray she-cat pressed her cheek to his, and her familiar scent washed over him. She smelled of wind and grass; of home. 

“All I ask with this life is that you treat your clan with the love a mother has for her kits. Care for your clanmates, protect them at all costs, and be prepared to sacrifice your life for them.” 

Crowfeather felt an ache deep in his chest, and he tightly shut his eyes. His thoughts immediately went to Breezepelt, and how he had not given him the love he deserved. He could feel the hatred burning in his son’s eyes when Crowfeather was forced to fight against him in the battle against the Dark Forest. He had allowed his own self-pity as an excuse for the way he treated other cats, and he knew that when he became leader he would need to take care of his clan with the love that he was never able to give his son. 

Opening his eyes, he was able to catch Ashfoot glancing back at him one more time. Something occurred to him, then. There had been something familiar about Ashfoot’s gaze. He had seen the same spark in Deadfoot’s eyes. And he realized that it could only be one thing. Love. And suddenly the mystery of who his father was wasn't much of a mystery anymore.

After his mother, Barkface, Windclan’s former medicine cat, made his way over the dark gray tom.

“Hello, Crowfeather. It’s good to see you again,” the small, wiry tom greeted. 

“You too, Barkface,” Crowfeather replied. He respected the former Windclan medicine greatly. Barkface had brought great wisdom to Windclan with his age and many stories of how Windclan used to be before Tallstar became leader. 

Barkface touched his muzzle to the lithe warrior’s head. “But they have you now, Crowfeather. So, with this life, I give you faith. Faith in yourself, faith in your clan, and faith in your ancestors. Continue to pass down the stories of Windclan’s past, while creating your own legacy. Never forget that Starclan is will always be with you.” 

Crowfeather closed his eyes and scenes began to flash before his eyes. He caught glimpses of Heatherstar welcoming rogues into Windclan, Tallstar appointing Deadfoot deputy, Onestar fighting in the battle against Mudclaw, and then he saw himself perched atop the Tallrock with his clanmates staring up at him. He barely had time to relish his future before he felt encased in a whirlpool of cats. Starclan warriors brushed their pelts against his and he felt safe knowing that each of these cats were watching over him.

Barkface gave Crowfeather a swift lick on the shoulder before returning to the row of cats. After the tom, a light gray tabby she-cat stepped forward. Her fur shone as brightly as the moon itself, and her clear blue eyes pierced straight into his. Crowfeather felt his paws freeze to the spot and his mouth run dry. Deep emotion swelled up inside of him, causing a thick lump to form in the back of his throat. 

“Feathertail,” He choked out, barely able to say her name. The grief-stricken tom’s gaze was fixed sorrowfully on the beautiful she-cat. The Riverclan cat’s eyes softened when she met his stare. 

“You didn’t think I’d miss seeing you become leader, did you?” She mewed teasingly. When the dark gray warrior didn’t reply she continued on. “Crowfeather, it’s not your fault that I died. I willingly gave my life up to save the tribe. It was my destiny. It was always my destiny.” Feathertail rested her tail lightly on the flank of the dark gray warrior.

“But why did you have to die?” the Windclan tom spat back, instantly regretting snapping at the silver she-cat. In a lower voice, he added, “Why did you have to leave me?” Bitter sorrow stained his words. 

“I was always with you, dear one. Couldn’t you feel it whenever your name was mentioned? You made me a part of you. I know it hurts to think of the journey, but try and focus your thoughts on the time we did share rather than the time we did not,” Feathertail meowed kindly and touched her nose to his cheek affectionately. A sudden nervousness crept over him. Had she known about him and Leafpool? “Crowfeather, answer me this. Do you think I wouldn’t have wanted to see you happy?” The dark gray tom looked up at her, confused, and shook his head. 

“Leafpool made you happy. I could never be angry with her for that. That’s why the life I’m giving you is for compassion. I was lucky enough to see your kind and gentle side that you keep hidden under a rough exterior. Share that kindness with your clanmates. Be as gentle with them as you were with me, as you were with Leafpool. Be conscious of how what you say can affect others. Use your words to bring joy to others, rather than pain.” 

Her soft cheek fur pressed against his, and he felt himself falling into a pitch-black cave. He could hear the roaring of a waterfall faintly from one ear and Crowfeather knew exactly where he was. He braced himself, but right before he hit the ground and broke his neck, an invisible force caught him. A bright light shone down on the cave, rendering him blind for a moment. When his vision cleared he found that he was back in the hollow surrounded by starry warriors. “Congratulations, Crowstar,” the dark-furred tom heard one meow, and before he knew it the clearing was echoing with sound of cats chanting his name. 

By the time their voices died away, he could see them fading into the night sky. However, the silver tabby still lingered. 

She leaned close to him, a twinkle in her eye, and whispered, “Think you have nine lives do you? I saved you once, don’t make me do it again.” Before fading away with the rest of Starclan warriors. 

The last time he had heard her say that it had brought him so much pain, but this time it brought him peace. His past had suffocated him for so long, strangling him with the mistakes that had burdened him since he became a warrior. Waking up at the edge of the Moon Pool, he finally realized that it was time to let go of the past, and embrace the time he had now. No more regrets, no more blame, and no more lies. He was going to be the greatest leader Windclan had ever seen.


End file.
